


Amsterdam

by giventothewhite (FYWC)



Category: The Maccabees
Genre: Incest, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FYWC/pseuds/giventothewhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will goes to Amsterdam to finally find his brothers again</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amsterdam

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Incest (not explicit)
> 
> Lyrics quoted from “Amsterdam” by Imagine Dragons.

Will clutched the pieces of paper in his hands tightly as the train jerked forwards and slowly began rolling out of the St. Pancras station.  _I’m doing the right thing_ , he told himself over and over again.

“ _Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Eurostar train from London St. Pancras to Amsterdam Centraal…,”_  said a friendly female voice through the speakers.

Will tried to blend out the voice and concentrate on his mission. After he had turned 18 a few days ago there had been only one goal in his life: find his long-lost older brothers who had left home four years ago and cut all ties with their family to start a new life in the city of Amsterdam. As a couple.

Incestuous relationships between consenting adults were legal in the Netherlands. And so were they in Will’s head. But his family had thought differently and so Felix and Hugo had fled the country when the latter had been only 16 years old to move to Amsterdam, where not only gay couples but also other forms of love were more tolerated.

The big scandal about Felix and Hugo had been four years ago and many people had already forgotten about it over the time but Will never had. His memory of the day he had said goodbye to his beloved older brothers and the day his mother had forbidden him to contact these ‘sinners’ again was still crystal clear in his head. He had made himself the promise that as soon as he would turn 18 he would go searching for his brothers. And now it was finally time. He had saved enough money to buy himself a ticket to Amsterdam (one-way, even) and live on his own a few days before he found his brothers.

As the train sped up, Will got out a piece of paper and a pen to write to his mother, who was still completely oblivious to what her youngest son was up to.

_I’m sorry mother, I’m sorry I let you down_

_Well these days I’m fine…_

 

Will looked down at his ugly handwriting and stopped writing. He wasn’t _fine._ He had pretended to be fine for four years and he had tended to lie about all the time.

He had missed his big brothers terribly. They had always been close, they had always lovingly taken care of him. That was probably what had scared their parents and in the end led them to kicking their older sons out of their family home. Since Felix and Hugo had left there had been an ugly black hole not only in the family but also in Will’s heart.

He didn’t care about their relationship and what trouble it would cost them in the world (even if they lived at a better place now). All that mattered to him was that their affection towards each other was bigger and stronger than all the obstacles they had to face. Why didn’t people value such love? Why would they call it ‘sick’, a ‘disease’ and ‘disgusting’? To Will it was only love.

And now that he was on the train, closer than ever to his goal of meeting his brothers again, he was filled with not only hope but also nervousness. What if he didn’t find them before he ran out of money? What would he do if he found them? What would they do? All he had was a letter Hugo had written him three years ago (to Will’s mate’s address, so their parents wouldn’t find it, clever boy) and the memory of Felix’s and Hugo’s lips on his own when they had kissed him goodbye.

Will had been a child back then. But now he was grown up and determined to find his brothers.

He stroked over Hugo’s letter and then held it close to his chest like he had done so many times before.

 

_I’m sorry brother, I’m sorry I let you down_

_Now these days you’re fine, now these days you tend to lie_

_Your time will come if you wait for it_

_It’s hard, believe me I’ve tried_

_But I keep coming up short_

Will had read these lines over and over again. He was so sure that Hugo had meant that he should come after them. Even being miles away, Hugo seemed to understand Will better than anyone else around him. How he had to lie every day, saying that he was fine without the two persons that had mattered most in his life.

Will thought about how hard it must have been for Hugo. Being only 16, ripped from his family and being told that his love was sick. Hugo had to live the same lie as Will had. He had to lie to his family on a daily basis. But other than Hugo Will didn’t have someone who was in this with him. Hugo always had Felix to give a reason to everything. Will had been alone. For four years.

 

The train lurched to a standstill and Will woke up. The five-hour train ride had passed faster than he had thought and now he was in their city. In their country. Will felt liberated from all the expectations and rules of his family back home, of society, of his old life. He took a deep breath as he climbed out of the train and set foot in the city.

Only with his rucksack on his back Will walked out of the rather ugly train station and found himself on a big and chaotic square. He almost got run over by a tram! Will laughed whole-heartedly. He had never been to Amsterdam but he already loved this place. If tiny underground trains could drive on the streets here, then his brothers could definitely live in a romantic relationship here! There were gay pride flags everywhere anyway. It was easy to tell why his brothers had chosen this city as their new home.

Will walked down the streets along the canals. The sunlight was reflecting on the surface on the water and everything was very idyllic. Even the Dutch language seemed funny to Will. He was full of good vibes and sure that he would meet his brothers again.

After a 30 minute walk and getting lost twice (damn, every street did look the same here!) Will suddenly found himself in front of the house from which Hugo had sent him that one letter.

Not being able to tear his gaze away Will walked the last steps towards the front door. His heart was pounding fast in his chest. This was the moment.

Suddenly he was forcefully pushed to the ground and his hands scraped over the asphalt. Immediately he felt a sharp, stinging pain in his palms, which were bleeding. With a hurting head Will sat up and looked at his torn trousers. He hadn’t paid attention and had been run over by a cyclist.

“Ben je blind?,” shouted an angry Dutch voice and before Will could look up or apologise, the cyclist was already on his bike again and had ridden away. And Will had learnt that the city wasn’t as peaceful as it looked. Underground trains driving on the streets, cars driving on the wrong side of the road and angry cyclist running over poor tourists.

Will started a second try crossing the road. This time he was more successful. Not wanting to waste any more time, he pushed the door bell and waited for a few seconds before the front door was opened.

But the person that was standing in front of him was definitely not one of his brothers. She was tall and blonde and wore a lot of make-up.

“Hallo?,” the woman greeted him.

“Uh, hi? Do you speak English?,” Will asked. He hadn’t lost his hope yet. Maybe she was their flat mate or something.

“Of course, darling, what can I do for you?,” she asked with a thick Dutch accent but seemed generally friendly so Will tried his best.

“I’m looking for someone… Felix and Hugo White.”

“Never heard of them, sorry boy…,” she answered after thinking for a few moments.

“Are you sure? Maybe the use different names now? They have brown hair and blue eyes. And they’re not that tall,” Will tried again.

“What do you want from them? Why should they use different names? You’re not a cop, are you boy?,” the lady asked. Will hesitated for a moment. Maybe people knew them as a couple but not as brothers here. Then it wouldn’t be very wisely to out them as his brothers. But being brothers and lovers had been the whole point of moving to Amsterdam…”

“They are my brothers… They left home four years ago and I want to find them now,” he admitted.

“Oh poor boy… I’m sorry I never heard of them,” she said and looked genuinely sad. Will thanked her again and walked away, this time paying attention to the bicycles.

Having no other address in the city Will strolled through the little streets and thought about what he should do next. He should probably get himself a hostel for the night and then pay the Citizen Registration office a visit. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice a man approaching him from the side.

“Hey boy!”

Will startled. Why was everyone calling him “boy” here? He was 18 now! At least the man spoke English, Will was already getting sick of the weird Dutch voices. They had sounded funny at first but now they only sounded somewhat aggressive.

“Hey boy, you look a lil bit troubled. You want something to ease your thoughts?,” the stranger said in a low voice.

“No! I mean…What?” Will was confused. What did this man want from him? It dawned on him in the next second when the man pulled out a small plastic bag filled with weed out of his pockets. He had only smoked weed a few times with his “friends” but he had always enjoyed the feeling. And from what he could remember Felix and Hugo had often smoked some, too, before they had left.

“Uhm yeah man, you got some spliffs? Too lazy to roll…,” Will answered. The truth was that he had never actually rolled a spliff before because he had only ever smoked with other people who had done that for him.

“Sure, how many do you want, boy?,” the man asked, happy that he had found a customer in Will.

The dealer the sold Will two nicely rolled spliffs and was gone as quickly as he had appeared. Will put both the spliffs in his jacket pocked and went searching for a quiet place to smoke one of them.

After a five-minute walk he found a nice bench, hidden by some trees, where he sat down and lit his spliff. He knew that smoking weed was not illegal in Amsterdam but somehow it made him feel more comfortable smoking it in secrecy.

Will had already smoked half of the spliff when someone approached him again. Didn’t they see that he already had some and wanted some privacy now? Will looked up into the face of another unknown man.

“What d’ya want?,” he asked, showing his annoyance.

“Aren’t you the boy who was at Reguliersdwarsstraat today?,” the blond-haired man asked and Will startled immediately. He even had to cough. The man had just mentioned the street his brothers had lived in! So he was either a creepy stalker who had followed Will all day or maybe knew something about his brothers!

“Yes! I’m looking for Felix and Hugo! They used to live there!,” Will said quickly. He was so excited now. All had seemed lost but now he had a new trace.

“I know boy, they used to come to  _Taboo_ , my bar, quite often. They were always friendly and nice, they were some of my favourite customers. They moved to another quarter of town half a year ago, though. I haven’t seen them since. But before they left, they gave me a letter. Now tell me your name boy!,” the man explained.

Will swallowed. This man had known his brothers! And he even had a letter from them!

“Will,” he answered hoarsely.

“So Will, it appears I might have something for you…” the blond guy answered and handed Will a little envelope. “It was nice meeting you, Will. I have heard so much about you. They really missed you, you know. I wish you all the best. Now I have to go back to my bar. Hopefully I’ll see you and your brothers around!”

The man walked away and Will was alone with the envelope that could maybe tell him where his brothers were now.

But first he smoked the remaining bit of the spliff before he opened the envelope.

 

_I’m sorry, lover… I’m sorry; I bring you down_  
Well, these days I try and these days I tend to lie  
Kinda thought it was a mystery and then I thought it wasn’t meant to be  
You said yourself fantastically, “Congratulations you were all alone”  
Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it  
It’s hard, believe me… I’ve tried  
But the rain won’t fall for the both of us  
The sun won’t shine on the both of us  
Believe me when I say, that I wouldn’t have it any other way  


Will felt like crying. Of happiness. Even after all this time his brothers still thought of him and had kept their faith that he would come after them. Hugo had even addressed Will as  _lover_ ,something he had never done before but it felt just right to him now because he  _loved_ his brothers.

Hugo’s words were so honest and Will could relate to them. Being in love with your brother – that definitely sounded like a mystery and something that wasn’t meant to be. And Will had been all alone for four long years. But he had waited patiently and now his time had come and he was here now.

Hugo’s words were poetic but Will still understood them perfectly. Even here in Amsterdam life wasn’t easy if you were in a relationship with your brother but they wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if that meant continuing to lie about the nature of their love.

The backside of the letter had an address on it.

_Kerkstraat 5_

Will looked at his map and made his way to that address. Walking there he felt like flying. His feet weren’t touching the ground anymore. He wouldn’t have to wait much longer to be reunited with his beloved brothers, he could already feel the walls of his youth crashing down. He was happy now.

The address was a small café. It wasn’t in the gay pride quarter of town where his first address had led him, it was in a normal and quiet living quarter. The name of the café was  _Coffee to Ride_ and it looked cosy from what Will could tell. It had dozens of bicycles parked in front of it.

Will walked through the door in a trance. Even on the inside of the café there were still bikes everywhere! Right next to the tables and sofas! Looking left and right, Will walked towards the bar. His heart started to beat faster in his chest when he saw a familiar-looking curly mane behind the counter.

“Felix?,” he asked shyly, not wanting to believe his luck. The man turned around and it was indeed Felix! Will would have recognised these blue eyes everywhere!

“Will? Will, it’s you! You are here! Finally! Hugo! He’s here!,” Felix shouted through the café and jumped over the counter to pull his little brother into a rib-crushing hug. Tears started to run down Will’s cheeks as he felt those strong arms around him, that he had missed so terribly while growing up. He didn’t care that everyone in the café was watching them, who could blame them after Felix had welcomed him so loudly. Suddenly Will felt another pair of arms holding him close and he just knew that it was Hugo who was now burying his nose in Will’s neck.

“You found us! I knew it! Did you get my letters?,” Hugo asked and his breath tickled Will’s neck.

Will couldn’t answer because suddenly everyone around them started clapping their hands, some even stood up. Felix took this as a sign to loosen their embrace.

“Will, I present to you our new baby!  _Coffee To Ride_! If your bike is broken, you can just bring it here and Hugo will fix it while I will make you coffee. Isn’t that a perfect idea!,” Felix exclaimed proudly and Will laughed whole-heartedly because it sounded just so much like his brother.

“We’re taking a break now, Herman can do the counter for a while! We have so much to talk about, Will!,” Felix decided for them all. Hugo took Will by the hand and led him to hidden stairs.

“We work downstairs and we live upstairs,” Hugo explained. “When we moved in, we even bought a bed for you because you belong here. We will never be parted again!”


End file.
